The opera singers
A couple of days ago, we met one of our neighbours in the hall. I should say one of my fiancée’s neighbours, since I’m technically just squatting at her place still (but I pay for popcorn when we go to the movies; has to count for something). You might argue that meeting a neighbour in the hall of your building is not exactly a big deal, and you might be right. The thing is, since the last time we’d seen her, she’d managed to have a baby, which she was carrying along in a stroller. And you can’t fake that.
My fiancée, her neighbour (and I) decided that the next time we’d meet up would be before she ever had a second child. Because, if you only count on chance encounters with a stroller, you might as well rely on the Facebook algorithm for reminders. So we set a date, and the date was yesterday: they were having a halloween party at their place and we were wearing costumes. And by costumes, I mean we were dressed (it’s cold outside these days; also, I have a bit of a sore throat and I should probably see a doctor: it might be the flu, or worse - a man flu).
Right after we left the theater having watched Bohemian Rhapsody, the epic biopic about the even more epic Freddie Mercury and the best rock band of all times, Queen (for those who didn’t catch that, I’m a Queen fan the way Stan was an Eminem fan), we headed straight to their place. My fiancée had told me that the lady was an opera singer, which is quite possibly the coolest job in the world (after being a Freddie Mercury lookalike in a Queen tribute band, perhaps), and a great person to talk to right after having seen a movie about said Freddie Mercury, the most operatic rock singer of all times (again, Stan). I had no idea what her boyfriend did, though, or any of her friends that were comfortably sitting in the living room next to the piano (Mama… Just killed a man… sorry).
Me: I know what you do, Miss, and I love it!
Neighbour: Huh… Thanks!
Me: And what does everybody else do here? You too opera singers, heh?
Boyfriend: Huh… Yeah...
Me: What, all of you?!
Boyfriend: Pretty much…
Friend #1: I’m a Baritone.
Friend #2: Technically, I’m a music teacher.
Me: Wow… So you’re all better singers than I’ll ever be, then?!
Neighbour: I don’t know, do you sing?
Fiancée: Trust me, you guys are better singers.
Me: Thank you, honey…
Friend #3: Actually, I’m a geologist.
Me: Oh! So you don’t sing?
Friend #3: Well, I was in a semi-professional choir for a decade…
Me: Fuck!
I spent the rest of the evening talking about taxes.