In 2 days’ time, I will be a married man, unless my wife to be finds out who I really am before then. I’ve been able to fool her for the past 2+ years, I think I’ll be able to keep it up for another 2 days. That being said, it wasn’t all that easy getting there:
First, I had to find the woman. And she wouldn’t quite play ball: as we met and I tried to (ever so subtly) find out more about her, she simply wouldn’t give me anything. So I didn’t know what to think, or expect, or even deduce if she even liked me or not. She later confessed that she didn’t for the longest time. That was when she was still her reasonable, clear minded self — before I managed to steer her towards the dark side of the force (that would be me).
Then, she was the one who asked if we would get into a civil union. Again, she asked me to get into a civil union. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, people: in my very basic, old school, somewhat sexist mindset, the man is supposed to ask the woman those types of things. And then ask her parents for permission, with a dead duck as gift. So I had to up the ante — and ask her to marry me, naturally.
After that, the problem was the actual organisation of the thing. We wanted to keep it simple, but we also wanted to have fun. Given that we live right next to a canal, we figured it would be cool to have the party on a boat. We found one that was available, and the guy seemed nice enough, only to find out a little while later (and a mere 2 months before D-Day) that he doesn’t quite know how to work an Excel sheet… and managed to double book us for our own wedding party. We settled for a place on land and right next to our house, because that was enough experimenting for us, thank you very much.
Finally, for the past couple of weeks, we have had everyone asking if everything is OK, if tension is not too high, if we still manage to sleep at night, given that are were on the verge of taking the biggest step of our lives. To which I will readily answer: you f**king motherf**kers, can’t you see that we’re just f**king peachy right now? Like, what do you want, a f**king cookie?!
In other words, 2 days. Can’t wait.