So, last weekend, we bought a French press. It shouldn’t be such a big deal, only I almost broke up with my then girlfriend (now fiancée: we made up) over this. The story is this: I love coffee. Scratch that: I actually rather thoroughly dislike the bitterness of the beverage, which is why I drown it in water (otherwise known as an Americano), but I need the thing to run through my veins. To stay awake, to function, to wake up in the morning… I’ve tried quitting a bunch of times: I end up sleeping longer than the cat. But, since I quit drinking (alcohol), smoking and eating meat, I figure I can have one addiction left, right?
Also, I hate cooking, and preparing “real” coffee amounts to pretty much the same, as far as I am concerned. If you’re an extremist (the vegan grow-your-own-food type, or simply living in Berlin), you grind your own beans, before sticking them into an Italian coffee pot and waiting for ages until you get 3 drops of bitter coffee. And, even if you’re already working with ground coffee, or using a French press rather than that Italian instrument of torture, you still have to go through a significant chunk of the process, which is enough to bore me to death (especially if I’m sleepy, not having had my morning coffee for obvious reasons). And you have to clean up after all this. Every time (side note: I’m a bit OCD, which clearly factors into all this).
So, last year, when we passed near a French press pot in a shop with my girlfriend and she suggested we buy one, I unequivocally said “no” (and by “unequivocally”, I mean I drove the point home by adding “Fuck” before “no”). We didn’t talk about this a while after that, until I calmed down, grew up and (somewhat still reluctantly) agreed to finally get that French press. Which we finally bought last weekend.
The thing is, though, that thing is meant for the both of us on weekends, when my girlfriend actually has time to drink coffee at home in the morning (otherwise, it’s tea IV’s, I’m afraid). Since I’m the one working from home most of the time, I’m not gonna go through that whole process all by myself. Especially right out of bed, ie around 10am. To drink bitterer coffee. And have to clean up afterwards, all by myself. Every time. So, instead, I keep on drinking my instant coffee, waiting for this weekend to finally try the French press with my fiancée.
Then the instant coffee jar ran out and I forgot to buy some. I’ve been stranded at Starbucks ever since.