Yesterday evening, I was having dinner and playing video games with my brother as my fiancée was having her third and last roller derby training session that week. You have to keep yourself busy: even the cat is tired of seing my lonely ass at home. So, instead of getting a day job, I go play video games with my brother.
Our usual pizzeria place - a great one at that - being privatized for some lame event - we were not invited - we had to go to the restaurant across the street - such a leap. The problem is: they’re a more traditional French restaurant, so they have way less veggie options than your average Italian place. That’s how I ended up with a rather small portion of vegetarian lasagna. A far cry from the cheese, honey and pear pizza - yes, it’s possible! - I was preparing myself for.
To make up for this mediocre start, we went to my brother’s as quickly as we could - service was slower too - to play Super Nintendo-emulated games like we were teenagers in the 90’s all over again. Because there’s nothing better than 8-bit (or 16: I may be mean) graphics in the times of virtual reality. Our game of choice is Rock n’ Roll racing, a 1993 offering that provides the genius combo of rock n’ roll music and racing (hence the title). Never been beat, except maybe by Tetris.
As we were finishing off the last planet - it’s set in outer space, of course - my fiancée called:
Fiancée: I’m finished my training, going home!
Me: Cool, we’ve almost finished the game!
Fiancée: How long do you think that will take?
Me: 20-30 min max!
Fiancée: OK, see you at home!
And we reverted to our gaming. And finished off the planet: turned out there was another one after that. Who knew? we didn’t. So we kept on playing a couple of races just to check it out: the previous planet being icy, our cars kept on sliding everywhere; whereas this one was all about fire, so it was much more manoeuvrable. Way more fun.
I still eventually went home, more or less on track with our agreed timeline. As I was biking back - I’ve become a fitness addict, don’t tell anyone - I got a text from my fiancée telling me she was having a bout of migraine. Which meant that, by the time I would get home, she would be in bed, in the dark and half comatose (she gets pro-level migraines). I though to myself, as anyone would have in this situation: “Shit, I could have played some more!”.
I got home, found my fiancée in bed as expected, hardly intelligible as expected. I sat down in the living room and watched a couple of Youtube videos. Which naturally turned into a 2-hour viewing session. I finally went to bed, waking my fiancée in the process because I couldn’t find the bed in the dark (I wouldn’t make a great thief, which is fine: it’s not on my bucket list).
The next morning, I woke up - with some difficulty - around 11am.
Fiancée: Why did you get to bed so late yesterday?
Me: I was watching Youtube videos…
Fiancée: Until 3 in the morning?
Me: 2 and a half, actually…
Fiancée: Same difference.
Me: You were out anyway…
Fiancée: Yeah, because I was sick. Also, you still managed to wake me up in the middle of the night when you did finally come to bed.
Me: Sorry about that, I don’t have the cat’s eyesight…
Fiancée: Clearly… And you could have stayed with me a little, seeing as I was sick…
Me: Well, what would have I done?
Fiancée: Well, emotion support for one… It’s not fun having migraines, you know…
Me: I do know… [I’ve had some before, although the last one was years ago, i.e. before I met my fiancée and she could do anything about it]
Fiancée: So then you know it’s nice having someone next to you when you’re in f*****g pain…
Me: But… I mean… What about me?
Fiancée: What about you?
Me: Well… You see, I quit playing Super Nintendo to get home… And then you were sick and in bed… Not very fun for me, is it?
Me: Huh… Maybe…
Fiancée: So what you’re saying is that my being sick tonight was not convenient for you?
Me: Well… You'll have to agree it wasn’t… From an objective perspective…
Fiancée: OK. And, from an objective perspective, if I leave you to do the cooking this weekend, do you think it will be convenient for you?
Me: Less so…
I had no choice: I took her out all weekend.