We all have to get back out there sometimes, and by ‘out there’ I mean in the gym. This is not (just) a new year resolution thing either: I actually hurt my shoulder back in December because I tried (and thus failed) to cram 2 sessions in 1. Surprisingly, my body is not as flexible as my mind thinks it is — or rather wishes it would be. And so I was out of commission for a littler under 2 months. A lifetime in fitness: I’m almost back to my meager old self these days. Good thing it’s winter and I can hide under piles of clothes.
Also, I had a good excuse to take it easy on work outs for a while: I had a properly intense work project that took the better part of the last 2+ months (hence the cramming 2 sessions in 1 attempt). I could arguably have a started working out again a couple of weeks ago, but I was just not feeling like it. And felt entitled to this relative laziness given that was giving away so much in producing PowerPoint slides 14 hours a day, what is otherwise known as the “new sedentary lifestyle”.
But that only worked until last week: I was off the project and back to my old Starbucks self. I argued (to no one really: my fiancée barely paid attention to any of this) that I had earned the right to rest for another week. And rest I did: I would wake up between and 9 and 10 every morning, did 0 sports, except if you count the couple of steps it took to get from the bed to the door, from the door to the subway entrance, from the subway exit to Starbucks. What they call living the life, don’t you agree?
This morning, though, I was kind of at a loss as far as excuses were concerned.
Me: I don’t know if I should go back to the gym just yet…
Fiancée: Do you remember that the gym doesn’t even remember you were ever there?
Me: Yeah, but… I mean… I think I still feel something wrong in my shoulder…
Fiancée: Let me see…
She leaned in and punched my right shoulder with enough force to actually wake me up for good.
Me: What did you do that for?!
Fiancée: Are you hurting now?
Fiancée: Good. So now you have 2 options: either you grow up and get back to whatever it is you call exercising — I don’t really see the difference so I assume there’s a lot of stretching involved — or you blame it on your girlfriend punching you for not being able to get out there.
Me: That’s harsh.
Fiancée: No it ain’t. So, what will it be?
I did complain to the coach, though. Then he showed me his bruises.