This morning was a typical Friday morning (starting this Friday): I woke up at 7:45 with the old lady (just an expression, settle down), made myself coffee, posted a couple of Instagram pictures (the cat was on fire yesterday), then the old lady left for work… and I started watching Youtube videos. To be fair, there’s a lot happening right now, so I have an almost valid reason to do that. And it went on, because Trump keeps shitting where he eats. Bigly.
At some point, I started feeling hungry because a) I’m human, b) I work out (for realsies: soon, you’ll actually be able to tell), c) Turns out it was already past 1pm. To be clear, Youtube is one of two things that can make me forget about food — the other one is food itself. So I figured I’d started getting ready: I obviously hadn’t showered or gotten dressed yet, so there was work to do (you don’t want to see my morning hairdo; or you do, to make fun of me). Then I watched another video.
Half an hour later — they kept suggesting I watch more, not my fault — I answered a friend/colleague who’d messaged me about meeting me at the office (Starbucks). I replied: “Sure, but not before 3pm”. I had to eat first, you see. By 2:15 (it took a while to comb that thing on my head), I was (finally) at my local veggie bowl place. And I was, surprisingly, starving. The good thing was — I was practically alone in there: thanks to all that Youtubing, I’d skipped rush hour. Silver linings, always…
Since I’d managed to hold off on food till past 2pm, and gone to the healthiest place around the house, I figured I might as well be reasonable in what I actually ordered. And I did: got myself pasta, with hummus and tomatoes and bit of mushrooms… A picture of health, I say. Then the manager, who sees me almost every day, went:
- Can I offer you some bread with that?
- What the hell…
What was I gonna do, refuse this act of kindness? I was brought up to be polite.